my tiny joys?
hmm . . .
opening the blinds first thing in the morning
my partner’s warm embrace
the dogs’ attempts to read me with their eye contact
my crows feet in the mirror (a little wiser today)
the crisp focus when i put on my glasses
the chicken’s excitement when i bring them kitchen scraps and my excitement when i collect their eggs
the predictable wave of my neighbor with Down syndrome; i like waving back to her most
the amazon package on my doorstep
the feel of my pen scribbling ideas on a blank sheet of paper
tasty leftovers for lunch from a previous meal i made myself
the words from my family that are reserved just for me: “guess what happened today?”
the smell of fresh garlic sautéing at dinnertime
the voices of my cherished ones laughing and talking
a full belly followed by a little bit of chocolate and peanut butter
another spectacular sunset
my cozy bed
quiet conversations with my love before we fall asleep
wow, isn’t it amazing how
all the tiny joys
add up
i love U.S.
our skin
our culture
our contributions
to this country
ours is a melting pot
of diversity
you’re a part of me
i’m a part of you too
i love that about U.S.
we should talk about it more,
much more
there’s blame
i’ll carry it for you
because,
its heavy
and someone must hold it
i am willing
i am able
please know
we both hate
what happened
and we both fear
the shadows
of caste
that haunt
U.S.
there’s pain
show it to me
give it to me
let’s put light on it
because,
if we can see it
we can heal it
let’s gather up our talents
the best of you
the best of me
and walk
together
hand in hand
united
into our finest future
to create
a new
praiseworthy history
our children
can celebrate
they were born
with hearts
beating on the outside,
vulnerable and unprotected
but if you pause
to observe
the beating
and are careful
not to wound them
they’ll show you
all the things
you couldn’t see
and never knew
about your own heart
i should be working . . .
yarn over, yarn over, yarn over
i should be cleaning . . .
yarn over, yarn over
i should be exercising . . .
yarn over, yarn over, yarn over
X 10,000
POOF!
wow, an afghan!
and oh boy is it cozy!
methinks
it’s time for a nap
zzz . . .
red was hers
i suppose it suited her
red is strong and confident
i could have any other color
dreamy blue
lush green
sunny orange
joyful yellow
just not red
it was hers
she wore it, adorned with it, breathed it
red
that was fine
i didn’t want it anyway
it didn’t really suit me then
i was a passive pink
i moved on
so did she
years flew by
filled with colors
a kaleidoscope
of experiences
i grew up
blossomed
became more of myself
and imagine my surprise
when i found myself
flirting
with red
i wore it, adorned with it
and sometimes . . .
i breathed it too
i think the time has come
to open up
and admit to her
that after all these years
i’m in love
with what i believed
belonged only to her:
the strong, confident color
red
i’m fragile
easily broken
by scowls and frowns
and the sharp edges
of voices
belonging
to people
that i love
they don’t know
their harsh expressions
and pointed words
are weapons
that shatter me
on the inside
the broken pieces
hurt and fester
in the darkness
within me
so, i’ve hidden them away
where no one can see
and now
i’m left alone
a fragile child
in an adult body
with a pile
of shards
to sort out
by myself
i don’t know
where to begin
i don’t know
how to put myself
back together
because
i don’t remember
what wholeness
feels like
so, i sit here
overwhelmed
and curse myself
for being fragile
when at night you lay down
burdened as can be
know there’s comfort there
that you can’t always see
close your eyes
and imagine a light
beside your bed
this very night
cuz, angels come
when you least expect
your heaviest burdens
to collect
so offer them up
one by one
you’ll start to feel better
once you’ve begun
with grace they’ll carry
each worry away
so in your mind
they won’t replay
let it all go
so you can sleep
trusting the angels
your burdens to keep
i went for a walk today
and caught the scent of you
on the wind
earthen, sweet, and dry,
horses and hay
undeniably you
in an instant
a beautiful breeze
of early memories
blew in
and danced around
inside my mind
tangling up with my heart
you’ve been gone for years
but there you were
with me again
in an instant
I was that little girl
on the farm
chasing chickens
climbing hay bales
and riding horses
together,
we were racing sticks on the river
eating fresh peas from the garden
roasting “weenies” over the fire
and watching the sunset
glow orange and lavender
above the western mountains
i miss you, grandpa
thank you for the memories
and thank you
for visiting me today
on the wind
hungry for kindness
hungry for love
hungry for connection
from up above
hungry to be heard
hungry for peace
we humans are desperate
for this hunger to cease
hungry for validation
hungry for touch
the lack of nourishment
is becoming too much
hungry for change
hungry to succeed
how will we ever
fulfill all our needs
hello?
god, we’re down here
can’t you see this mess?
we’re starving inside
and can’t live on less
where is the nourishment?
where is the source?
the way is hidden
and we’re way off course
clearly you’ve decided
to hide from our view
so you must be hoping
we’ll learn what to do . . .
well, i suppose that . . .
humans can be kind
humans can love
these things aren’t exclusive
to heaven above
humans can listen
humans can cease
fighting each other
and generate peace
humans can acknowledge
that humans can share
understanding and compassion
when life isn’t fair
humans can change
humans can succeed
because all humans have
what all humans need
maybe . . .
as hungry hungry humans
who’ve found a new way to be,
i will feed you
if you will feed me?
